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There's not a lot of warmth between me and my mother. I asked her about it. I said "Mrs. Stoller..."
If it's five o'clock and the children are still alive, I've done my job.
I think I'd be a good mother. Maybe a little overprotective. Like I would never let the kid out - of my body.
An angry mother took her son to the doctor and asked, "Is a nine-year-old boy able to perform appendectomy?"
"Of course not," the doctor said impatiently.
The mother turned to her son and said, "What did I tell you? Now put it back."
The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose, and his mother's mouth. Which leaves his mother with a pretty blank expression.
A woman came to ask the doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman."
When my mom got really mad, she would say, "Your butt is my meat." Not a particularly attractive phrase. And I always wondered, Now, what wine goes with that?
My mom was a little weird. When I was little she would make chocolate frosting. And she'd let me lick the beaters. And then she'd turn them off.
The boy's mother had bought him two new ties. He hurried into his bedroom, immediately put on one of them, and hurried back.
"Look, Mama! Isn't it gorgeous?"
His mother said, "What's the matter? You don't like the other one?"
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